To say we were nervous this morning doesn't even begin to describe how much adrenaline we had pumping. Thank goodness we had an 8:15 appointment this morning. Waiting until longer in the day would have been torture.
Once we were there, we didn't have to wait long before my name was called. I know the ultrasound tech well, and the minute she saw me she knew how petrified I was. We went into a teeny little room, without a fantastic spot for KG. So, he made do, at my feet, giving me reassuring rubs on my toes.
Thank goodness this tech is one who tells you every single thing she sees as she goes. She did all the normal checks, and then quickly zoomed in, and pointed out the heartbeat, letting us sit and stare at it for a bit.
That's when I lost it. I wept on the table, letting out a lot of the fear I had been holding in my chest for weeks. She then measured the fetus and told us it was measuring right on time. Again, more tears. She compared the size of the baby to a grain of rice. That blew KG's mind.
Before she finished, she zoomed in for the heartbeat one more time, printed us our copy of a picture*, and sent us on our way. Our next appointment is on May 30th, when we'll get released to an OB if all looks good.
At least for today, I feel relieved. It is starting to sink in that maybe, just maybe, I'll be a mom by New Years.
But, I thought about the tech a lot as I drove to school. Because I have been in treatment at this clinic since January of 2011, I know a lot about her. I know she just had her third IVF result in a BFN after needing to coast for several days before retrieval. I know she has premature ovarian failure. I know about her cute little dog. I know how hard her nephew's birthday parties are. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to see someone else be so happy about a teeny little heartbeat.
I'm also thinking of Belle today. Although her doctor saw a heartbeat at her first ultrasound today, she is feeling nervous because Pip measured a little bit small. Please go send her some love and support.
*I started a separate page for pregnancy updates and pictures. Click on "The Nugget" if you like that kind of thing. If not, feel free to skip.